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Adapting to your partner vs mimicking them

The Ordinary Man
4 min readJun 28, 2024

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When you have a partner, especially one from a different cultural background than you, some adjustments have to be made. The aim is to still be yourself whilst accepting and understanding the other person. But some people go too far and try to become the other person.

An example of this I face a lot as a black person is when the girl I’m speaking to does an impression of what they think a black woman is. Eating certain foods, listening to certain music and having a certain attitude towards white guys.

*Let me tell you something now white women, saying you don’t like or respect white men, ain’t it. It’s not going to make me like you more, it’s weird.

Some people think that because they cooked some food from their partner's culture or wore some of their clothes, they’ve adapted. But all they’ve done is copy them.

I cook Italian food all the time, I sometimes watch Seria A, I like mobster movies and TV and I steal their fashion sense, but you don’t see me out here claiming to understand them as people.

Nasty work.

What is adaptation in a relationship?

Adapting is making adjustments to your behaviour in order to accommodate the other person. Sometimes it’s physical adjustments but I’d say it’s mostly mental. Understanding, empathising…

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