Festival thoughts

What a day this has been. I’m still in a state of shock, and I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’m totally fucked. At times like this, I really do appreciate my friends, but tonight they’re not helping.

I don’t want to be here.

I just wanted a quiet night in. I didn’t want to be at a festival surrounded by happy, smiling people because they didn’t get fired today, like I did. The festival looks great, but I don’t feel like I’m here physically; I feel like I’m on the outside looking in.

Maybe this is why I’m doing this weird inner monologue thing in my head. I’ve been doing this all night; what is wrong with me?

Not to worry, the night is nearly over. Once the fireworks display has finished, I can make up an excuse to go home. I usually love fireworks. Loud noises and bright lights are exactly up my alley. But not tonight, and I didn’t want to be part of the last 3 hours either.

The food was good, but I didn’t want to eat much of it because I don’t feel like I have a stomach. My stomach was already full of sadness. I felt a sense of dread when they asked for money. I need all the money I can get right now, I don’t know how long it’s going to be until I get another job. I wish I had studied at school instead of sleeping through it.

We tried a lot of snacks at the food stalls, but we ate a meal at a German-themed stall. They had Schitzel, Sauerbraten, Bratwurst, and don’t forget traditional German beer. Say what you want about Germans, they know how to…