You can tell a lot about someone by the colour of their teeth

The Ordinary Man
6 min readFeb 20, 2024

This is a story about my sketchy manager and how I knew she was dodgy from the moment I met her. I’m not shitting on people with bad teeth, I know it’s hard picking up your toothbrush twice a day and flossing. Not everyone is privileged enough to have clean teeth.

The first thing I noticed about my manager was that he had brown teeth, and that said all I needed to know about her character. She as a whole looked like a chav you’d find in a dodgy pub in a dodgy area dressed in a smart pants suit — and that’s what I got.

If you’re wondering why this matters, it’s not about being shallow, it’s about self-awareness and character. A person with self-awareness has clean teeth, an intelligent person has clean teeth, and a person with good friends around them has clean teeth. Real friends would tell you that you have poo stains in your mouth.

It also shows a mismatch of values which is the case with me and everyone in Gloucester. I want to be the best version of myself I can be and they’re intent on being losers.

First impressions are important and she looked like an addict, which she is. She’s an alcoholic. I could tell she was off and tried to get a new job after the offer (which I was accepted immediately) and other interviewees have done the same. A guy pulled out in December after accepting the offer, it was clear he’d only take this job if it was his only choice, lucky for him it wasn’t.

I knew she’d be dodgy from the interview

There were a few things that made me suspect that she’d be a basket case from the interview. Number 1, it was in Gloucester and she looked like one of the run-down people from Gloucester. There's a certain look that they have, a look that says they’ll shout at kids on their street in a tank top on a Saturday morning. “Fookin pack it in!”

She’s not actually from Gloucester, she’s from the Forest of Dean which is way worse. People from Gloucester make fun of people from the Forest — think about that for a second.

She didn’t seem like a strong character in the interview, she seemed like a doss who was only looking for a friend to drink with, which was true. She said she hired me because I said I…